The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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