Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
