Buhtt sex?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
