sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
