fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
