so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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