I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
