your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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