come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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