Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
