You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
