I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
