I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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