I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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