Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize