Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
