found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
My ATM looks so different sober.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
