yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
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