I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
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