She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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