i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
