Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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