i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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