I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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