Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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