Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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