i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
