So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
