so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
We left the knife in your bed.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
