life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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