the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
