He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
