you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
