Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
