She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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