is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
