I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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