I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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