Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
