On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
