you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I've blown a few things in my day
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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