i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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