dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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