She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
