Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
