if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
