My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
