the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
