The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
