I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
