He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
