Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize