Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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