i barfeds in our rink
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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