Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize