this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
