I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
