My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
