I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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