What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Randomize
