I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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