i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
