We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
