she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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