she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
