let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Randomize
