My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
P.S. I can't hear my feet
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Randomize
