Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Randomize
