oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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