The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
