some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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