I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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