I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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